[NEVER] LOSING ISIAH

Claiming that during his recent trial his head "never left basketball", Isiah Thomas is considering a new strategy for the upcoming season: being on trial.

It seems that over the course of the three-week legal ordeal, Thomas discovered an ability to achieve a greater focus on basketball than ever before.

"Honestly. my head never left basketball, " Thomas said. "We made sure that we were prepared and I made sure I was prepared and I did everything that I had to do." Thomas claimed this was contrary to all his previous experience, during which time he found it difficult to concentrate and stay lucid.

So in order to continue this new found inspiration, Thomas and the Knicks have decided to keep him on trial. Since Thomas' most recent trial has just concluded, the Knicks are open to any and all new litigation to be brought against their head coach and president of basketball operations.

"Vendors, maintenance staff, knicks' city dancers, whoever!" Knicks' chairman James Dolan said excitedly. "Anything that will put Isiah back in the courtroom we feel will only help our organization."

Thomas is behind the idea 100%. "We came back extremely focused... I just wanted to make sure we stayed focused and keep the team moving." Thomas went on to say if that means he continues being on trial, he's all for it.

If you have a claim to bring against Thomas, you can file it with your lawyer, or directly with the Knicks at IwanttosueIsiah@newyorkknicks.com

DIVISION SERIES PLAYOFF PREVIEW - ALDS

VERSUS

Rejuvenated by a mixture of youth (pictured above) and experience (Clemens), the Yankees were one of the most formidable clubs the second half of the year...

That's all I've got. If everything went as it should, the Indians would win this series. Good pitching always beats good hitting, and Sabathia and Carmona, on paper, should put tribe up 2-0 going back to NY... But that won't happen.

Maybe Joe Borowski will blow a seemingly insurmountable lead; maybe A-Rod will create the five-fun homer. I don't know. But some how, the Indians, much to my dismay, will blow this.

My Prediction: Yanks in four.

DIVISION SERIES PLAYOFF PREVIEW - NLDS

VERSUS

Did you know there was a playoff game this afternoon? See, this is what happens when you have a job - you miss the important things, like game one of the first round of the Division Series. Let this be a lesson to you kids: Never get a job. They just get in the way of Sports, TV, wandering around aimlessly, etc.

Anyway I don't think the fact that one game has already taken place disqualifies me from making an unbiased series prediction.

The Rockies come into this series as baseball's hottest team. They won an incredible 14 of their last 15, and actually came within ONE game of stealing the division title from Arizona - in fact, the Rockies expected win/loss record, as determined by run differential, is actually the best in the NL for the regular season. So, I guess you could technically say they under-achieved.

The Mets are the overwhelming favorite to win the NL. They're polished, talented, imens....
Hold on a sec I'm getting a message...

What's that? The Mets didn't make the playoffs?? Are you f%&$ing kidding me?!? How the F--- is that possible?!?!?! So who made it? HAHAHAHAHA.

I apologize. Before we continue, let me correct the header...

VERSUS

As I was saying, the Phillies improbable climb to NL East Champs reached it's peak on the final day of the season, as their win - coupled with the Mets loss - concluded a span that saw the Phillies gain 7 games in 17 days. Simply remarkable.

Unfortunately for the Phils, they won't have that much time against the Rockies. These two teams match-up fairly evenly on paper. But in reality, the Rockies have one decided advantage: they're not from Philadelphia.

Prediction: Rockies in five. And I swear, the Rockies winning game one did not influence my prediction in any way. If anything, I'm validated by it.

DIVISION SERIES PLAYOFF PREVIEW - NLDS

VERSUS

We all know about the Cubs. Disappointing start, and then they want on a tare in the second half, and finished up about right where they should have been: winners of the NL Central.

The Arizona Diamondbacks are one of the most puzzling teams in recent memory. They are the winners of the National League West - perhaps the most competitive division in baseball this year (with the exception of the Giants) - in addition to possessing the overall best record in the National League. And no one knows how the F%&$ they did it. They were outscored by their opponents on the season. Let me repeat that: THEY WERE OUTSCORED BY THEIR OPPONENTS ON THE SEASON. I can't think of ANY division winner in my humble lifespan that has ever scored less total runs than their opponents and managed to win their division.

The statistical anomaly that is the D-Backs doesn't end there. Arizona is in the bottom half of the NL in just about every conceivable offensive category, including dead last in hits, batting average, on-base percentage, and yearly uniform consistency (that's right folks. It's a joke about how often they change their logo/colors/font).

So how are they doing it? Well, for one, it's pitching. They're fourth in the NL in team ERA. Problem is, Cubs have even better pitching - they're second.

My Prediction: Everything on paper points to the Cubs winning this series... And yet I can't bring myself to pick them. Arizona just keeps winning. And there are two categories that they do actually excel in: triples (first) and one-run games (32-20 - tops in the Majors). I say Arizona out-triples the Cubs, wins three one-run games, and pulls out a three-games-to-two series victory, all while being outscored.

DIVISION SERIES PLAYOFF PREVIEW - ALDS

VERSUS

At the time of this post, the ALDS playoffs will most likely have begun (and almost certainly by the time you're reading it. And if you're reading it at all, God bless you). However, at the time that I'm actually writing this, it's T-minus 49 minutes until the first pitch at Fenway. Which gives me just enough time to present to you an uninfluenced preview of this ALDS match-up.

On first glance, this looks like a simple rematch of the 2004 ALDS, when the Red Sox outperformed the Angels at the end of each game in a Roger Federer-like manner. And though one New England team currently looks to be about as dominant as Federer, it's not the Red Sox.

It's really hard to find a definitive edge for either of these teams. Both come in a little banged-up, both emotionally and physically. By picking the extra early off day, the Sox will most likely avoid seeing Bartolo Colon start in this series, but that's not necessarily a good thing this year, as he's sporting a losing record and a plus-6 era. The Sox are betting that their starting three are better than that of the Angels, but lately, that's not a sure thing. Beckett, Dice-K and Schilling have all been a little shaky, and Lackey, Escobar and Weaver are no slouches (although Escobar struggled down the stretch as well, so who knows). Pitching match-ups are nearly impossible to predict anyway, and more often than not it seems that the opposite of what you think would happen ends up happening (with that logic, I'm picking a pitcher's duel between Dice-K and Escobar in game 2).

My theory? Go with the most under-reported statistic. For this series, it's road record. For the Angels, that's an under-.500 mark. As cliche as it may be, you have to be able to win on the road in the playoffs. For the Angels, that is actually a fact, as they can only see a maximum of two games in Anaheim (or LA, whatever they want to call it now), so they'll have to pull out AT LEAST one in Boston. Easier said than done. The Angels went 4-6 against the Sox this year, and were 2-5 against them at Fenway (and one of those wins was the second game of a double header).

My Prediction: Everyone and their mother is picking the Sox to win this series in four or five. I love my mom. Sox in Four.

I'LL TAKE THINGS THAT END IN "TOBER" FOR $1000

TBS is dubbing it "actober"; NESN has referenced it as "Soxtober"; and New York City cabbies are calling it "that month I'm not gonna work that much".

Whatever you choose to call it, October is here. And along with colder weather and heavier drinking, this month ushers in my favorite events: the Major League Baseball Playoffs . In all sincerity, this looks like it could be a very interesting post-season, and that's not just because Dane Cook is doing the promos. As a result, I'm challenging myself to post NEAR-DAILY entries here, predicting and recapping through the Division, Championship, and World Series.

Will I be able to do it? Absolutely not. If history has taught us anything, it's that I'm a terrible blogger (and a scary beard-grower). But if nothing else, it will hopefully be entertaining to watch me try valiantly and fail spectacularly.

So without further ado, I welcome you to the 2008 MLB playoffs blog!

OLIVE GARDEN

In the ultimate act of contrition and apology, the Mets this week sent out a heartfelt mass-email message to their fan base. Sources say they may be following this up with door-to-door visits by Met interns to random houses in Queens later this week, who will be distributing coupons for hotdogs, available for use with purchase of ticket for any Mets home game next season. However, this is purely speculation.

If you have not yet had the chance to view the Mets concession speech to their fans, I've procured a copy for your viewing pleasure: