We spent the better part of two years with this thing. The election could have gotten pregnant and given birth not once but TWICE. It could have gone to school and attained a low-level-to-moderate masters degree. It enjoyed a longer run than the vast majority of programming that debuted against it. The following is just a partial list of shows that premiered and ended over the course of this campaign:
2 Dudes Catering
Aliens In America
America's Psychic Challenge
Amne$ia
Back To You
Better Half
Big Shot
Bionic Woman
Blood Ties
Camp Lazlo
Cane
Canterbury's Law
Carpoolers
Cashmere Mafia
Cavemen
Clash Of The Choirs
Confessions Of A Matchmaker
Control Room Presents
Crowned: The Mother Of All Pageants
CW Now
Dance Machine
Dance War: Bruno vs. Carrie Ann
Decision House
Dr. Steve-O
Exalted!
Guinea Pig
Here Come The Newlyweds
Hey Paula
Janice & Abbey
Journeyman
K-Ville
Kaya
Kid Nation
Life Is Wild
Matched In Manhattan
Miss Guided
Moonlight
MVP: He Shoots, She Scores
My Dad Is Better Than Your Dad
Nashville
New Amsterdam
The Next Great American Band
Online Nation
Oprah's Big Give
Painkiller Jane
Phenomenon
Power Of 10
Quarterlife
Secret Talents Of The Stars
Side Order Of Life
The Singing Bee
State Of Mind
Tell Me You Love Me
Unhitched
Viva Laughlin
Welcome To The Parker
Whacked Out Videos
When Women Rule The World
Women's Murder Club
Personally, I will have a hard time putting this election behind me. Its course spanned longer than most of my employment stints. My relationship with it was one of the longest I've ever been in. Simply exhaling and burying the memory just does not seem like a proper send off. That's why, if you'd allow me (and even if you don't), I'd like to take a little time to reminisce as we say goodbye to the longest election in our nation's history. With that, I present the first in a (probable) series of what I will be calling: Things I Will Miss Now That The Election Is Over.
#1. EMAIL UPDATES
In the middle of October, my email address somehow got added to the Barack Obama mailing list. Since that time, I have received approximately 1,762 emails from the friends, family, and general acquaintances of the President-Elect. Now that this election is over, my mailbox seems all too empty, and I can't help but feel just a little bit used. The morning after, I received no contact - no email, no nothing - from any of the staffers I'd come to grow so close to. Where's my update from David Plouffe? Suddenly, Bob Casey doesn't seem to need me so much anymore. Al Gore just stopped asking for my help, and Jon Carson isn't checking in on my weekend plans. There are no more challenges from Nicole Aro, and no Joe Biden just saying hi.
So thanks, Obama Campaign, for turning what I thought was my triumphant march from the voting booth into a tawdry walk of shame. It's going to take an industrial-strength spam-blocker and anti-virus sweep to cleanse my computer of the memory of this dirty affair.
Which reminds me, has anyone checked in on Scarlett Johansson?
