If you were looking for a sign that our oil crisis has finally reached critical mass, look no further: P Diddy is flying commercial. That's right, COMMERCIAL. And not only that, he's flying American (apparently he's not powerful enough to get on United).
A regular of the private jet scene, high gas prices have forced Diddy to curtail his lavish expenditures and grind elbows with the beggars and gremlins of First Class.
America, enough is enough. We've watched Katrina devastate the Gulf Coast. We've seen people lose their homes in the subprime mortgage crisis. We've witnessed inflation increase, wages decrease, schools close, jobs lost, and a neverending war overseas. But when the Executive Producer of Making The Band can't even fly on his own private jet twice a month to and from LA to pursue his acting career, action must be taken.
*Special thanks to CNN for alerting me to this story. I anxiously await their forthcoming report on Governor Sarah Palin's 17-year-old daughter's baby daddy.
*Spoiler Alert - He's not actually in coach.
Showing posts with label CNN. Show all posts
Showing posts with label CNN. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
Thursday, January 24, 2008
SNOWBALLIN' / VICE CITY
I am slowly becoming more aware of my vices, of which I have many. For instance, I hate shaving. This has resulted in my hair approaching shoulder-length and my face being hidden behind a thick, albeit somewhat patchy, mess of course pubic-like scruff (images available on Facebook, or here). Additionally, I probably don't eat as well as I should. I justify this through various excuses - time, finances, etc. - but eventually I'm sure it will catch up with me (especially since I'm much slower now than I used to be, undoubtedly because of said diet). Those are just two of the most troubling - aside from leaving counter-tops unkempt to promote breeding grounds for e-coli, spitting in sandwiches I'll then offer to people, and injecting friends with needles containing deadly plagues - but perhaps The WORST vice I have is watching CNN.
I indulge this vice of mine today when I decide to turn on "American Morning". And on this American Morning, I am greeted by Veronica De La Cruz, who serves as CNN's "Internet Correspondent" (This is officially my new favorite title, although if it were me, I totally would have talked The Network into something more grandiose but equally meaningful, such as "Ambassador to the Digital Media" or "Web Czar"). She's explaining that this is a follow-up to a story The Network has cleverly dubbed "Snow Day Phone Call" (you can view the segment here). If I might editorialize for a moment (because the rest of this is obviously hard news reporting): this is DELICIOUS (almost delicious enough to post on del.icio.us). Such a morning treat. It's like skipping the Oat Bran and starting my day with three chocolate éclairs.
I particularly enjoy the way in which Ms. De La Cruz owns (or for you internet correspondents out there, pwns) this story right from the start. Her delivery of "...That he posted..................................................on The Internet", features just the right ratio of dramatic pause to peaking intonation, perfectly illuminating how this story has fallen into her domain (no pun intended).
Ms. De La Cruz further enhances her performance through use of dramatic irony, as she explains to us that the youngster who posted this "even seemed a little annoyed about all the calls that HE was getting from the media.............. on HIS home phone." Watch out Stone Phillips!
To be fair, it was this lad himself who posted this voicemail message on YoutTube; and Ms. De La Cruz does acknowledge his point that there are other more important stories in the world that are probably more worthy of attention than this. But what fun is fair?! NONE. Luckily, our Ambassador to the Internet is fully aware of this, and is equally quick to justify the story by explaining that "it seems like people are still interested" (I think this should be CNN's new company slogan: "CNN. IT SEEMS LIKE PEOPLE ARE STILL INTERESTED").
But by far my favorite moment of this piece is when our CNN sponsored Internet Tour Guide tells us that their original segment on this story, posted on youtube, has been viewed over 8,500 times. Now although that might not seem all the impressive, just look at how impressive it becomes when you boldface, change text size, and hold for effect.....................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................
....8,500 TIMES!
See? Now it's big news.
Inevitably we've now introduced a comparative numbers game, which is of course the goal of all major news networks. In case you are wondering what other YouTube items are tantamount in views to this clip boasted by CNN, I've taken the liberty of performing a search and coming up with a few random samplings. And if you aren't wondering... Well I've already gone through the effort, and you've come this far, so why not take a look:
For the record, "Cake Flushing" is actually far more popular than "Snow Day Phone Call", with almost three times as many views. Maybe it's all in the title. Or perhaps CNN will soon begin airing more videos featuring cakes and toilets - which is probably on par with their curent programming. Either way, this whole sordid affair can probably be summed up best by a quote from a viewer read on the air by Ms. De La Cruz:
Thankfully, those attributes - like the common sense to separate a real news story from meaningless fluff, and the self control and composure to report on real issues like, gee I dunno, the presidential primaries, or Darfur - are not applicable to broadcast media. And I for one am happy about that. It gives me a chance to indulge one of my vices, while at the same time making me realize that in comparison, mine aren't all that bad.
Oh and one last item: while snowballing is a term frequently used to describe the nature of viral media, it also refers to this.
I indulge this vice of mine today when I decide to turn on "American Morning". And on this American Morning, I am greeted by Veronica De La Cruz, who serves as CNN's "Internet Correspondent" (This is officially my new favorite title, although if it were me, I totally would have talked The Network into something more grandiose but equally meaningful, such as "Ambassador to the Digital Media" or "Web Czar"). She's explaining that this is a follow-up to a story The Network has cleverly dubbed "Snow Day Phone Call" (you can view the segment here). If I might editorialize for a moment (because the rest of this is obviously hard news reporting): this is DELICIOUS (almost delicious enough to post on del.icio.us). Such a morning treat. It's like skipping the Oat Bran and starting my day with three chocolate éclairs.
I particularly enjoy the way in which Ms. De La Cruz owns (or for you internet correspondents out there, pwns) this story right from the start. Her delivery of "...That he posted..................................................on The Internet", features just the right ratio of dramatic pause to peaking intonation, perfectly illuminating how this story has fallen into her domain (no pun intended).
Ms. De La Cruz further enhances her performance through use of dramatic irony, as she explains to us that the youngster who posted this "even seemed a little annoyed about all the calls that HE was getting from the media.............. on HIS home phone." Watch out Stone Phillips!
To be fair, it was this lad himself who posted this voicemail message on YoutTube; and Ms. De La Cruz does acknowledge his point that there are other more important stories in the world that are probably more worthy of attention than this. But what fun is fair?! NONE. Luckily, our Ambassador to the Internet is fully aware of this, and is equally quick to justify the story by explaining that "it seems like people are still interested" (I think this should be CNN's new company slogan: "CNN. IT SEEMS LIKE PEOPLE ARE STILL INTERESTED").
But by far my favorite moment of this piece is when our CNN sponsored Internet Tour Guide tells us that their original segment on this story, posted on youtube, has been viewed over 8,500 times. Now although that might not seem all the impressive, just look at how impressive it becomes when you boldface, change text size, and hold for effect.....................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................
....8,500 TIMES!
See? Now it's big news.
Inevitably we've now introduced a comparative numbers game, which is of course the goal of all major news networks. In case you are wondering what other YouTube items are tantamount in views to this clip boasted by CNN, I've taken the liberty of performing a search and coming up with a few random samplings. And if you aren't wondering... Well I've already gone through the effort, and you've come this far, so why not take a look:
For the record, "Cake Flushing" is actually far more popular than "Snow Day Phone Call", with almost three times as many views. Maybe it's all in the title. Or perhaps CNN will soon begin airing more videos featuring cakes and toilets - which is probably on par with their curent programming. Either way, this whole sordid affair can probably be summed up best by a quote from a viewer read on the air by Ms. De La Cruz:
Thankfully, those attributes - like the common sense to separate a real news story from meaningless fluff, and the self control and composure to report on real issues like, gee I dunno, the presidential primaries, or Darfur - are not applicable to broadcast media. And I for one am happy about that. It gives me a chance to indulge one of my vices, while at the same time making me realize that in comparison, mine aren't all that bad.
Oh and one last item: while snowballing is a term frequently used to describe the nature of viral media, it also refers to this.
Sunday, July 08, 2007
HANDLE WITH CARE
*Note - This blog post was originally scheduled to air on Monday, July 2. Thanks to a limited internet connection and an abundance of time at the beach, its publishing was delayed. The management wishes to apologize for this delay, and encourages you to mentally travel back to a simpler time, like Monday, July 2nd, while reading this post...*
Tired of talk of Paris Hilton? Don't want to hear any more about Anne Coulter? Of course not! But just for fun, let's take a break from celebrity-news for a moment and talk about something that's of serious concern and presents a real threat to us all: fireworks.
That's right. If you haven't noticed, and even if you have, the 4th of July is fast approaching, which means it's time for the obligatory fireworks safety demonstration! Apparently, in addition to being really fun, explosi--, I mean fireworks can also be dangerous, and possibly even illegal... I think. Damn, I really can't remember. I wish there was someone who could tell me if these things were illegal or not...
Ok, so it seems they're probably illegal. But say I DID want one, do you know where I could get one?
Well that's good to know. And all this time I thought the brown paper bag meant I was drinking Jack Daniels! This explains why I never really got buzzed, but did find gunpowder in my saliva...
It seems a little counterintuitive to me that explos-- I mean fireworks could have any downside. Could you tell me otherwise?
She's right. It is a little hard to believe people are still playing around with these things. I mean, what IS the attraction that people have to explosive devises designed for entertainment purposes that are stimulating, dangerous, and exciting?
Next week, we'll explore a little known sport that's taking America by storm: sky-sniping. It's the thrill of skydiving mixed with the constitutional right of big-game hunting.
Until then...
Tired of talk of Paris Hilton? Don't want to hear any more about Anne Coulter? Of course not! But just for fun, let's take a break from celebrity-news for a moment and talk about something that's of serious concern and presents a real threat to us all: fireworks.
That's right. If you haven't noticed, and even if you have, the 4th of July is fast approaching, which means it's time for the obligatory fireworks safety demonstration! Apparently, in addition to being really fun, explosi--, I mean fireworks can also be dangerous, and possibly even illegal... I think. Damn, I really can't remember. I wish there was someone who could tell me if these things were illegal or not...
Ok, so it seems they're probably illegal. But say I DID want one, do you know where I could get one?
Well that's good to know. And all this time I thought the brown paper bag meant I was drinking Jack Daniels! This explains why I never really got buzzed, but did find gunpowder in my saliva...
It seems a little counterintuitive to me that explos-- I mean fireworks could have any downside. Could you tell me otherwise?
She's right. It is a little hard to believe people are still playing around with these things. I mean, what IS the attraction that people have to explosive devises designed for entertainment purposes that are stimulating, dangerous, and exciting?
Next week, we'll explore a little known sport that's taking America by storm: sky-sniping. It's the thrill of skydiving mixed with the constitutional right of big-game hunting.
Until then...
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