IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO MAKE PREDICTIONS

It's been a long-overextended hiatus from this blog. But nothing will stop me from posting my annual Major League Baseball Playoff Preview, not even the fact that the playoffs have already started. If anything, that's going to make these predictions even more interesting.

Let me preface by stating that as of right now, 7:58pm on Thursday, I am unaware of any of the outcomes of ANY of the games played to this point. I do, however, know the outcomes of all future games to be played, but I digress.

While I type this, the only things I know for certain are that the Yankees were leading 7-2 sometime between the 6th and 8th inning last night, and that the Dodgers/Cardinals game was 2-1 in the third, but I don't actually recall who was leading. If the Dodgers are anything like their fanbase, I'm guessing they trailed because they don't tend to show up until the 4th inning.

To try and maintain some semblance of ignorance of the outcomes of any of these series, I've curtailed the majority of my usual research. So if you're looking for rational, well-studied, informed analysis, you're going to be disappointed. However, if you're looking for gut-instinct, baseless predictions, you've come to the right place!

With all that in mind, I present to you THE 2009 MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL DIVISION SERIES PLAYOFF PREVIEW.

DODGERS VS. CARDINALS


The Dodgers jumped out of the gate on fire, and never looked back. Maybe that's why they almost lost the division title to the Rockies in the final weekend. As for their counterpart, the Cardinals did what they usually do: play steady ball all year and wait for the rest of their division to collapse.

On paper, this series shouldn't be close. Here is a partial list of recognizable Dodgers hitters:

Andre Eithier
Matt Kemp
James Loney
Rafael Furcal
Orlando Hudson
Juan Pierre
Russel Martin
Manny Ramirez
Jim Thome
Casey Blake

Now here is the respective list for the Cardinals:

Albert Pujols.

This seems like it would be a significant advantage for the Dodgers. Unfortunately for them, none of the names on their list is Albert Pujols.

The pitching is more or less an wash in this series. Wolf/Kershaw/Padilla, Carpenter/Wainright/Piniero could go either way. Neither of these teams played particularly well to end the season. Both teams have similar classic-style, old-school managers.

In an toss up, I take the Cardinals, thanks to the overwhelming fans in St. Louis and the probability that Joe Torre wore out the only two relief pitchers he'll allow himself to use over the course of the season.

CARDS IN 4.


ROCKIES VS. PHILLIES


A rematch of their 2007 playoff match up, and we all know what happened then!

(long pause)

(longer pause)

Not much happened, but the Rockies won.

The Phillies made up for the faults of '07 by bringing home a title last year that no one saw because of rain and terribly scheduled start times.

I'm not going to bullshit you and pretend I know something about either of these teams, because you're too smart for that, and I don't have enough time to look up interesting statistics right now, nor do I want to risk jeopardizing my self-imposed regulations of discovering final scores (a convenient excuse).

So between you, me, and the rest of the internet, let's say...

ROCKIES IN 4.


YANKEES VS. TWINS


Here's a fun fact (this is a REAL fact. I know. Catch your breath): Four teams in baseball history have won play-in games to get into the postseason in walk-off fashion: the '51 (New York) Giants, the '59 (LA) Dodgers, the '07 Rockies, and now the '09 Twins. The previous three all made it to the World Series. So early congratulations to the Twins for what will be a first!

This Yankees team will not be beat. Not by the Twins, and probably not by anyone. I'm generally hesitant to make such bold predictions, but I do it here for two reasons: 1) They really are that good, and 2) It will be even more rewarding for me if they lose.

The Twins had a fantastic run to end the season, but they weren't exactly taking on the best-of-the-best to do it. Much like the Yankees non-existence right field, Minnesota pitching will not be able to contain the Yankees offensive power.

YANKEES IN 3.


RED SOX VS. ANGELS


One. That's the number of wins the Angels have managed against the Red Sox in their last three playoff match ups ('04, '07, '08). This series is quickly becoming an October ritual, and I would love to see the ritual of the Sox taking it in convincing fashion continue. I believe my wish will come true.

John Lackey will again be the ace for the Angels. Until he figures out how to beat the Red Sox once (let alone twice) in the post-season, I don't see the outcome of this series changing.

Sox pitching has looked iffy at times, and their line-up is not nearly what it used to be. Maybe the Angels improve this time around, but not enough to take the series.

SOX IN 4.



Now, let's watch some baseball! I hope I didn't miss it all...

IN LIEU OF LCS PREVIEWS...

I've tried all day to write American and National League Championship Series previews; it's just not happening. I'm in a funk worse than the Angels and Cubs combined (both of whom I incorrectly predicted would advance to their respective LCS). Maybe I need more sleep, maybe I'm too emotionally involved in both series - with the Red Sox in the AL and all the former Red Sox (on the Dodgers) in the NL - or maybe I'm just too preoccupied with the Tim McCarver, Manny Ramirez melodrama.

For whatever reason, I can't bring myself to do it. But I will not deny history of my predictions. Red Sox in 5, Dodgers in 6.

There. Now time can work its magic. Maybe I can gear up for some mid-series analysis and recap of the sure-to-be highlights from McCarver and Buck Martinez.

PLAYOFF PREVIEW - ALDS PART 2

CHICAGO WHITE SOX
VS.
TAMPA BAY RAYS

As late as August, I was still holding on to my now foolish prediction that the Rays would finish in fourth place in the AL East. Maybe I had too much faith in the Yankee offense and the Blue Jays' starters. Maybe I refused to give the Rays the credit they deserved. But for whatever reason, I couldn't believe that this team, who had never managed to finish a season with more than 70 wins, could suddenly not only compete in but actually finish first in one of the toughest divisions in baseball. But I also never thought I would see the day that a team's marketing department would go ahead and let the team wear hats adorned with a giant "TB" on them, so shows what I know. (I have been waiting all season to make this joke. And I will tell you right now, it wasn't worth it. I'm a little disappointed).

The Chicago White Sox scored the third-most runs among the eight teams who made the playoffs. However, they also allowed the most. Ironically, they bested rival Minnesota in a pitcher's duel of all things, 1-0, to make it into October ball. That might be a more difficult feat to pull off against the Rays.

Tampa Bay sports a 29-18 record in one-run games this season. How much does that mean? Just ask those other Sox, the ones from Boston. The Red Sox were involved in six one-runs games with the Rays this year, and they lost EVERY time. Combine that with a solid Rays starting rotation / bullpen and a White Sox club that seems to rely almost exclusively on home runs to score, and this could be a very tough match-up for the South-Siders.

Maybe that's why EVERYONE at ESPN is once again united in their pick.


Either that or they're just really dedicated to finding common ground in an otherwise difficult political climate.

RAYS IN 4 (booooooorrrrrinnnnggg).

PLAYOFF PREVIEW - ALDS PART 1

BOSTON RED SOX
VS.
LOS ANGELES ANGELS OF ANAHEIM

The two most popular teams among females face off in what is fast becoming, or at least is hyped as becoming, a modern postseason rivalry.

The Sox have bested the halos in the postseason all three times they've met, which includes a streak of nine consecutive games. But this is a superior Angels team. The only team to win 100 games in the bigs this year, the Angels feature solid starting pitching, a phenomenal bullpen, and strong fundamental hitting that can manufacture runs.

If that's not enough, with their new-and-improved extended team name, they've taken steps to cleverly hide the exact location of where they play. Do they play in Anaheim? Do they play in Los Angeles? Do they switch back and forth? No one really knows for sure. It's just one more weapon the Angels will utilize in their attempt to vanquish the Red Sox from the playoffs for their first time ever.

As for the Red Sox, in many ways their season has been defined not by what they've gained, but by what they've lost: Manny Ramirez. After years of a hot/cold relationship, the Sox finally parted ways with the embattled slugger just before the trading deadline, receiving Pirate-phenom Jason Bay. Bay has not disappointed, anchoring a strong Boston lineup that scores runs in bunches. However, their ability to do that this series may be compromised, as the status of sluggers Mike Lowell and JD Drew remain in question.

Will Boston maintain its dominance over Anaheim/LA? Will the Angels return to their 2002 championship form? Will pretty girls everywhere pretend to be interested? Probably not, possibly, and most certainly.

As much as it pains me, Angels in 5.

PLAYOFF PREVIEW - NLDS PART 2

CHICAGO CUBS
VS.
LOS ANGELES DODGERS

From what I understand, the Dodgers are an amalgamation of homegrown minor league talent from their superior farm system, and former members of the Boston Red Sox. Which means some of them have a lot of playoff experience, and some of them have almost none.

The Cubs hold the statistical advantage in this series, particularly on offense. They have the best run differential in baseball, and scored more runs than all but one team. Chicago also has a sizable lead in rpi, ranking fourth, compared to the Dodgers' 18th. I don't know exactly what that means, but it sounds ominous.

If there's one area the Dodgers look like they might be able to best the Cubs, it's on the mound. Chad Billingsley and Derek Lowe both have sub-3.00 ERAs following the all-star break. For the Cubs, Zambrano has looked as terrible as he's looked invincible. Dempster has had a superb season, yet for some reason remains untested in the eyes of the media.

This series is getting a lot of mention as an "upset special". If Billingsley and Lowe can best the Cub aces, then the Dodgers could take this. In similar hypotheticals, if the Dodgers manage to win more games in this series than the Cubs, I think they might just win it.

CUBS IN 4.

PS - Here's the preview tease of this series, as featured on ESPN.com


If you scroll down, on the SAME PAGE below the fold, you'll find this:


Just how scary are the dodgers? Apparently not very.

PLAYOFF PREVIEW - NLDS PART 1

Just because the Brewers-Phillies series has already begun and the Dodgers-Cubs will probably start before I finish writing this is not reason enough for me to forgo my sometimes-annual playoff preview. And with that stunning introductions, let's get into the division series-es!

PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES
VS.
MILWAUKEE BREWERS

Everyone's picking the Phillies to win this series. Don't believe me? I present the following evidence:
Only one analyst, Tim Kurkjian, was able to convince himself that the Brewers are capable of winning more than a single game in this series. And to be fair, Kurkjian always been somewhat of a rebel. Exhibit B:



I can only assume this is Mr. Kurkjian's new file photo, and that the "MAG" print on his shirt is a subtle endorsement of ESPN The Magazine.

The Brewers have one chance to win this series: Pitch C.C. Sabathia as much as possible. Seriously. They're not going to resign him for next season. He is nothing more than a really fancy rental car. And everyone knows that when you have a really fancy rental car, you're obligated to drive it every minute until you have to return it. And if you have gas in the tank at that time, well then you didn't drive it enough!

If Milwaukee can resist the urge to be cute, man up, and pitch Sabathia three times in this series, they can take it. Otherwise, I'm forced to go with everyone else.

PHILLIES IN 4.

TERMS OF AGREEMENT

Reportedly, attorneys for Major League Baseball and the Players Union are approaching an "agreement on rules" for a meeting between embattled Yankees slugger Jason Giambi and former-Senate Majority Leader and current honorary-Major League Baseball steroid czar George Mitchell. Getting these rules finalized paves the way for the secretaries to the assistants to the managing agents for Major League Baseball and the Players Union to begin talks of when might be a good time to schedule a meeting to discuss possible times for a meeting between said managing agents who would then discuss possible dates for a possible meeting between representatives for Jason Giambi via and the Players Union and representatives for George Mitchell and Major League Baseball. Catch the Fever!

While the country sits on pins and needles in anticipation of dates of press conferences to discuss the scheduling of more meetings, we (me) here at TNMS have obtained EXCLUSIVE* information on just what is contained in this set of rules. A partial list is as follows:

• All questions regarding for Mr. Giambi must be directed to legal counsel for Mr. Giambi and not directly to Mr. Giambi himself.

• Any statements made directly by Mr. Giambi and not through Counsel of Mr. Giambi may not be used to incriminate himself or any others associated with him, and are null and void in all legal context.

• Mr. Giambi will not be asked questions regarding his past, including both professional and personal experiences.

• Mr. Giambi will not be asked about his present, or future.

• Mr. Mitchell must attend the meeting adorned in a yellow sun-dress, high heels (nothing slutty - nothing over 4 inches) and a lemon chiffon hat.

• Mr. Giambi will be granted the right to use an interpreter which he and his counsel will provide. If this interpreter is not available, the meeting will be postponed and subsequently rescheduled for a time when said interpreter is available.

• Snacks, including rice cakes, peanut butter (specifically jiffy), canada dry ginger ale, poland spring water, and skittles must be provided. If said snacks are not available, the meeting will be postponed and subsequently rescheduled for a time when said snacks are available.

• Mr. Giambi is not to be asked any questions regarding the possibility of his taking of steroids.

• Mr. Giambi is not to be asked any questions regarding his bearing witness to any other player taking steroids.

• Mr. Giambi is not to be asked any questions reagarding steroids.

• If Mr. Giambi feels inclined not to attend said meeting, he may elect to send a predetermined representative in his place. If said representative is unavailable, the meeting will be postponed and subsequently rescheduled for a time when said representative is available.

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*Said "exclusive information" may, in fact, not actually be exclusive nor confirmed information.