Where is Kirsten Gillibrand Hiding Her Guns?!?
Nonelected-Senator Kirsten Gillibrand revealed this week that she keeps two unloaded rifles under her bed. When asked what she is using the guns to protect herself from, Gillibrand responded, "Higher office."
A spokesperson for the senator added that since revealing this information to the public, the guns "will be moved for security reasons."
No word yet on where the senator is considering storing her rifles now, but she was overheard to have said "you can bet it won't be under the bed again! Seriously, they won't be there, so you shouldn't even look there. Especially if you've broken into my home. Because they won't be there, I can tell you that much. And also I definitely don't keep a handgun in my pillow, or a deringer in my handbag."
In a related story, Plaxico Burress was found banging his head against a wall. When asked to comment, he stated he no longer plans to keep his guns on his dining room table and kitchen counter at home, adding "I didn't realize you could hide them."
Nonelected-Senator Gillibrand was appointed to fill former Senator Hillary Clinton's vacant senate seat by Nonelected-Governor David Paterson. Mayor Michael Bloomberg is said to be considering an attempt to make the appointments permanent. When told he doesn't have jurisdiction over that part of government, Bloomberg responded, "we'll see about that."
