GORBACHOV: THE MUSIC VIDEO

GORBACHOV: THE MUSIC VIDEO - BIGGER AND RUSSIANER from Tom Stern on Vimeo.

IN LIEU OF LCS PREVIEWS...

I've tried all day to write American and National League Championship Series previews; it's just not happening. I'm in a funk worse than the Angels and Cubs combined (both of whom I incorrectly predicted would advance to their respective LCS). Maybe I need more sleep, maybe I'm too emotionally involved in both series - with the Red Sox in the AL and all the former Red Sox (on the Dodgers) in the NL - or maybe I'm just too preoccupied with the Tim McCarver, Manny Ramirez melodrama.

For whatever reason, I can't bring myself to do it. But I will not deny history of my predictions. Red Sox in 5, Dodgers in 6.

There. Now time can work its magic. Maybe I can gear up for some mid-series analysis and recap of the sure-to-be highlights from McCarver and Buck Martinez.

GET OUT OF MY DREAMS... GET INTO MY HEAVILY-SUPERVISED CAR.

Iran unveils plan for women's car
[Pun intended?]

The vehicle will lack mirrors - so women will not be tempted to look at themselves - and have no radio, which could subject women to unwanted western decadence. It will also come with a man who will drive it to ensure the only place she goes is to the supermarket, to pick up the children, and home, all while he shouts disparaging, misogynistic rhetoric.

---

Closer to home, Ford is developing their own plan for patronizing a group of drivers. Called "MyKey", the new system will allow parents to limit top speed and stereo volume, as well as activate warning sounds if seatbelts are unfastened (link, complete with bland video demonstration). Sorry teenagers, looks like you'll have to drunk-drive at a max speed of 80mph, in addition to keeping the music to a reasonable volume while having sex in the back seat with the seatbelts on.

MARK WAHLBERG TALKS TO ANIMALS

This is the best thing I've seen on SNL in a very long time. It also makes me strangely homesick.

AMERICA, FUCK YEAH

In honor of tonight's Vice Presidential debate - which is sure to be an epic battle of policy and political theory that will remembered for centuries - I thought it would be fun to take a look back at some of the more exceptional moments from Vice Presidential debates past. Please enjoy the following video, and bear my shameless self-promotion.

PLAYOFF PREVIEW - ALDS PART 2

CHICAGO WHITE SOX
VS.
TAMPA BAY RAYS

As late as August, I was still holding on to my now foolish prediction that the Rays would finish in fourth place in the AL East. Maybe I had too much faith in the Yankee offense and the Blue Jays' starters. Maybe I refused to give the Rays the credit they deserved. But for whatever reason, I couldn't believe that this team, who had never managed to finish a season with more than 70 wins, could suddenly not only compete in but actually finish first in one of the toughest divisions in baseball. But I also never thought I would see the day that a team's marketing department would go ahead and let the team wear hats adorned with a giant "TB" on them, so shows what I know. (I have been waiting all season to make this joke. And I will tell you right now, it wasn't worth it. I'm a little disappointed).

The Chicago White Sox scored the third-most runs among the eight teams who made the playoffs. However, they also allowed the most. Ironically, they bested rival Minnesota in a pitcher's duel of all things, 1-0, to make it into October ball. That might be a more difficult feat to pull off against the Rays.

Tampa Bay sports a 29-18 record in one-run games this season. How much does that mean? Just ask those other Sox, the ones from Boston. The Red Sox were involved in six one-runs games with the Rays this year, and they lost EVERY time. Combine that with a solid Rays starting rotation / bullpen and a White Sox club that seems to rely almost exclusively on home runs to score, and this could be a very tough match-up for the South-Siders.

Maybe that's why EVERYONE at ESPN is once again united in their pick.


Either that or they're just really dedicated to finding common ground in an otherwise difficult political climate.

RAYS IN 4 (booooooorrrrrinnnnggg).

PLAYOFF PREVIEW - ALDS PART 1

BOSTON RED SOX
VS.
LOS ANGELES ANGELS OF ANAHEIM

The two most popular teams among females face off in what is fast becoming, or at least is hyped as becoming, a modern postseason rivalry.

The Sox have bested the halos in the postseason all three times they've met, which includes a streak of nine consecutive games. But this is a superior Angels team. The only team to win 100 games in the bigs this year, the Angels feature solid starting pitching, a phenomenal bullpen, and strong fundamental hitting that can manufacture runs.

If that's not enough, with their new-and-improved extended team name, they've taken steps to cleverly hide the exact location of where they play. Do they play in Anaheim? Do they play in Los Angeles? Do they switch back and forth? No one really knows for sure. It's just one more weapon the Angels will utilize in their attempt to vanquish the Red Sox from the playoffs for their first time ever.

As for the Red Sox, in many ways their season has been defined not by what they've gained, but by what they've lost: Manny Ramirez. After years of a hot/cold relationship, the Sox finally parted ways with the embattled slugger just before the trading deadline, receiving Pirate-phenom Jason Bay. Bay has not disappointed, anchoring a strong Boston lineup that scores runs in bunches. However, their ability to do that this series may be compromised, as the status of sluggers Mike Lowell and JD Drew remain in question.

Will Boston maintain its dominance over Anaheim/LA? Will the Angels return to their 2002 championship form? Will pretty girls everywhere pretend to be interested? Probably not, possibly, and most certainly.

As much as it pains me, Angels in 5.

PLAYOFF PREVIEW - NLDS PART 2

CHICAGO CUBS
VS.
LOS ANGELES DODGERS

From what I understand, the Dodgers are an amalgamation of homegrown minor league talent from their superior farm system, and former members of the Boston Red Sox. Which means some of them have a lot of playoff experience, and some of them have almost none.

The Cubs hold the statistical advantage in this series, particularly on offense. They have the best run differential in baseball, and scored more runs than all but one team. Chicago also has a sizable lead in rpi, ranking fourth, compared to the Dodgers' 18th. I don't know exactly what that means, but it sounds ominous.

If there's one area the Dodgers look like they might be able to best the Cubs, it's on the mound. Chad Billingsley and Derek Lowe both have sub-3.00 ERAs following the all-star break. For the Cubs, Zambrano has looked as terrible as he's looked invincible. Dempster has had a superb season, yet for some reason remains untested in the eyes of the media.

This series is getting a lot of mention as an "upset special". If Billingsley and Lowe can best the Cub aces, then the Dodgers could take this. In similar hypotheticals, if the Dodgers manage to win more games in this series than the Cubs, I think they might just win it.

CUBS IN 4.

PS - Here's the preview tease of this series, as featured on ESPN.com


If you scroll down, on the SAME PAGE below the fold, you'll find this:


Just how scary are the dodgers? Apparently not very.

PLAYOFF PREVIEW - NLDS PART 1

Just because the Brewers-Phillies series has already begun and the Dodgers-Cubs will probably start before I finish writing this is not reason enough for me to forgo my sometimes-annual playoff preview. And with that stunning introductions, let's get into the division series-es!

PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES
VS.
MILWAUKEE BREWERS

Everyone's picking the Phillies to win this series. Don't believe me? I present the following evidence:
Only one analyst, Tim Kurkjian, was able to convince himself that the Brewers are capable of winning more than a single game in this series. And to be fair, Kurkjian always been somewhat of a rebel. Exhibit B:



I can only assume this is Mr. Kurkjian's new file photo, and that the "MAG" print on his shirt is a subtle endorsement of ESPN The Magazine.

The Brewers have one chance to win this series: Pitch C.C. Sabathia as much as possible. Seriously. They're not going to resign him for next season. He is nothing more than a really fancy rental car. And everyone knows that when you have a really fancy rental car, you're obligated to drive it every minute until you have to return it. And if you have gas in the tank at that time, well then you didn't drive it enough!

If Milwaukee can resist the urge to be cute, man up, and pitch Sabathia three times in this series, they can take it. Otherwise, I'm forced to go with everyone else.

PHILLIES IN 4.