Pictures to Prove it

This is where I used to live

Roy! Roy Roy Roy!

In my most recent days spent perusing YouTube, I've come to two conclusions. 1) There will never be a dearth of material containing people being harmed by footballs, and 2) People are quite taken with feline masturbation.

Though it will probably prove impossible to surpass either of those items in popularity or sheer abundance, the SNL digital shorts are at least giving football injuries and cat porn a run for their money. The latest addition to the series, unofficially titled "Roy Rules", continues to expand the brand of webevision (I'm copyrighting that term. Eat it Trump) made popular by "Sloth" and "Andy Popping into Frame".

The latest may not be at "A Special Christmas Box" or "Peyton Manning for the United Way" level, but, well just check it out:





On a personal level, the enjoyment I took from this clip was probably not a direct result of the video itself, but rather due to the memory of a long lost commercial favorite of mine from college. Relegated solely to the murky depths of my mind... Until now:

More Dots!

*Update!*

Breaking the liberal "zone" of silence, one vagina at a time.

Connect the Dots, la lal la

In a welcome departure from the quiet, understated private mourning surrounding the recent events at Virginia Tech (a topic that has remained free of gratuitous politicizing for far too long), Newt Gingrich this week attributed the recent tragedies at Tech to 40 years of liberalism and a culture where "Young people are being dehumanized by violence in video games and liberalism has created a 'zone of not being willing to talk about any of these things.'"

Gingrich is not without support to his argument. Here is just a partial list of items that the dangerous cocktail of liberalism and violent video games is responsible for over the last 40 years:

Jeopardy!
Dunkaroos
The Oklahoma City bombing
Slap bracelets
Teen pregnancy
AIDS
Autism (specifically asperger's syndrome)
Gigli
Flava Flav
Homosexuality
Rape Culture

The expiration of the Assault Weapons Ban
Brett Ratner films
Genocide (Darfur, Kosovo, Somalia)
Super Mario Bros. & Duck Hunt
Dick Cheney
Pee Wee Herman
Hostess Cupcakes
Global warming*
The existence of the Middle East
Tom Green
People who aren't white

The Harlem Globetrotters
Harlem
Hummus (not to be confused with HAMAS)
HAMAS
Nuclear weapons
Poverty
Unemployment
Homelessness
Goth Music



*This is a tricky one because although liberalism is responsible for it, according to most conservative experts it doesn't actually exist

Love That Money

This reminds me of my landlord in college

"We Talkin' Bout Flea Market..."

Most of the cool kids have seen this already. Since this blog has never claimed to be cool, here it is, and welcome to the club:

Pack it up Pack it in

I go a year plus without posting, and now I'm already on my second post of the day. If you haven't figured it out yet, Newton is AWESOME.

Anyway, in case you've yet to view it, the following clip has started to garner some attention:



First off, in Billy Packer's defense (a phrase I never thought I'd mutter), Charlie Rose DOES have a reputation for always fagging out. He's a HUGE fagger outer.

Secondly, the most recent argument I heard surrounding this topic, from a local sports radio program that shall remain nameless, is that Packer has so far been able to escape major controversy from this because it aired on PBS, which has more "liberal" standards than say, FOX News. Which is a valid point. Here's just a partial list of questionable material I've heard on PBS in the last week alone:

• "Eleanor Roosevelt was a gay" - Jim Lehrer, The Newshour
• "...And there has never since been a time in my life where I've gotten as much pussy as I did then" - Will Lyman, Frontline
• "After doctor give Elmo medicine, Elmo feel fine. No more burn when Elmo pee" - Elmo, Sesame Street
• "The best part about reading is that you can go to places you've never been before, like Holland, or places you'd never want to actually visit, like Mexico!" - Levar Burton, Reading Rainbow

Liberal standards aside, my personal feeling is that this is not a case of politics, censorship or political correctness. This is about being old.

Old people are allowed to say whatever they want. Why? Because they're old, that's why. And because they said so. The older you get, the more crazy stuff you get to say. And if there's no one older than you around, you can say pretty much whatever you want. That's why Anne Coulter can say everything she says. She's really 102.

Take one of my uncles for instance (he's not really my uncle, I think he's a cousin, by I call him my uncle because he's old). He is 93 years old, God bless him. While attending a large extended family gathering last year, he exclaimed, "I don't give a fuck about anyone!" The reaction? General laughter from all. He's the oldest one in the family. He could have dropped his drawers and started peeing on the roses and no one would have cared (generally he saves that for Hannukah).

If there's one lesson we can learn from this, it's that we should respect our elders, and this includes letting them say whatever they want. What goes around comes around. And when you're 80, and you want to call your grand-daughter a cunt, you'll understand.

OH, and one more thing we can learn from this incident:



Who's fagging out now?